One-stop shop for all your business jargon needs
From The Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary
Do you wonder where your co-workers picked up all the ridiculous things they say? From fresh-faced interns to top management, everyone drops one of these gems occasionally. We can only hope that you’re not here to actually add these buzzwords to your vocabulary.
Al Desco adj. Describes any meal eaten at your desk (you have our sympathies if it’s dinner). “I slept in so I’m having breakfast Al Desco.”
Anticipointment n. The feeling that something didn’t live up to its hype.
Blamestorming v. Meeting to discuss a failure and find a scapegoat.
Deceptionist n. A receptionist whose job is actually to delay or block potential visitors. Ruthless with a polite, perfect smile.
Generica n. The parts of America that are so overrun with national franchises, that it’s impossible to tell one city from another.
Jargonaut n. A true master of ridiculous jargon, this individual has a ‘robust’ vocabulary, but none of it means anything.
Keepage n. The opposite of garbage.
Photox v. Improving the appearance of one’s face in a digital image using graphics software.
PowerPointless adj. Fancy graphics and animations in slide presentations that distract your audience instead of clarifying.
Putting socks on an octopus v. Attempting an impossible task. “Closing these latest prospects is like putting socks on an octopus.”
Rent-a-quote n. ‘Experts’ for hire that are prized for their ability to provide convincing sound-bites.
Spokesweasel n. A public relations agent. He usually possesses a remarkable gift for spin.
Stepford Worker n. An employee that has bought the corporate party line completely and become an unthinking clone. Surprisingly desirable in the business world.
Trustafarian n. A co-worker, typically a young intern, who is from a wealthy background but dresses like a bohemian stoner.
Yogurt cities n. Places that have an ‘active culture’, meaning a large number of museums, theaters, art galleries, etc.
Zerotasking v. Doing nothing.
